how funny life is..

had a good quick lunch date with toten today.. she's just as before. how funny life is. what used to be the hot topic in every girl's talk has now changed. from new makeup, weight loss tips, latest boy crush now turned to how's-married-life? or any-good-news? hhmm.. and it's hard to reveal that new discovery of your soul mate (i still believe he still does despite what happen, blind me!) is not always interesting. but what i can conclude from the good-old-girls-talk : it's normal and healthy for guys already in a committed relationship to flirt with other girls. fine! i can accept that, but still, i find it unethical and disrespectful. (yeah rite, tell me about it)

i'm still adjusting my life. going to be 5 months now. still adapting, learning, experimenting. too early to forecast how bright can the sun shines, but occasional thunderstorm does help in washing away some old dirt. despite being more paranoid and despair ever since then, deep inside my heart, i do hope and have faith in the rainbow by the end of the evening rain. at least, i'll celebrate them as my reward for being a good wife and hopefully a loving mother.

to be honest, what i discovered from my love a week after the happiest day of my life has been a real eye opener. it taught me the depth of one's love can never be measured by the number of years being together. you thought you had built the strength, but you realise how brittle it is when it is put up to a simple test pressed by very hostile, tempting and desperate circumstances. it's always US who make the choice. and never blame the circumstances to push you for the choice. no one ever stick out a gun on your face to force you in making that choice. it's always US. we create that choice and make that choice. so, just be a real man to stand for it and admit that you've lost in the lust of love??

my love once said, don't hold on to the past. life goes on. believe in the second chance. but i believe that the past has always been right in telling what lies in the future. the only driving element to change your love life chapter is through new vow from two mended hearts, founded by a renewed trust. otherwise, we'll be laughing at ourselves 30 years down the road of how foolish we had been letting every precious moments to pass by, sincerity and honesty that we both lack of, and hard to admit.

life is funny, when you start thinking of it. and GOD is great. HE has the ultimate answers. we're just completing the life puzzles...